We’ve all wanted something and not got it – that’s just life; but what happens when you don’t land your perfect job? How do you recover? And is there hope that another even-more perfect job will come along?
I work with career coaching clients to help them get the job of their dreams, but sometimes it can be a long process. On many occasions the candidate has thought the job would be perfect and has been gutted to miss out on it, but it usually turns out well.
With more than 812,000 job vacancies in the UK in December 2024, there has to be a job out there for you!
Here are my tips on what to do when you get the dreaded job rejection.
Picking yourself up when you don’t get the dream job
When you’ve invested lots of time and emotional energy into the process of applying for a job, it can be hard when the rejection email lands. I always advise to give yourself a bit of time to process the range of emotions you might experience.
It’s okay to feel disappointed, it’s okay to feel upset, it’s okay to feel frustrated and it’s okay to feel whatever you feel for a short period before picking yourself back up. What’s not healthy is giving yourself a hard time for a long time about things you could have done differently which may have changed the outcome or only looking at the negatives and letting it deter you from applying for the next opportunity.
Taking a bit of time to commiserate yourself is fine and a healthy way to deal with the inevitable disappointment and there’s actions you can take to pick yourself up
Seek feedback
Recruiters are notoriously bad at giving quality feedback to unsuccessful candidates. It’s easy to understand why – they’re busy trying to fill multiple roles and need to focus on the candidates still in the process or being offered the role, rather than the unsuccessful ones.
But if you don’t ask, you don’t get, so it’s worth a try to see if you can get any understanding about why you didn’t get the role. This can take the guesswork away if you have some facts and information about any gaps in your experience or performance.
It can come down to another candidate who was just more experienced/better at answering the questions on the day, rather than you doing anything wrong, but if there’s anything you can learn, this will be useful insight.
What lessons did you learn?
Once you’ve had time to process how you feel, reflecting on what happened objectively to analyse the positives and negatives can be helpful to explore any lessons learned for the next application.
Try to focus on what you learned by going through the job application and interview process.
This could be linked to:
- Things you thought you excelled at
- Areas where you felt less confident, which you can now work on
- Questions you were asked for which you didn’t have a perfect or recent example to hand. Something else you can easily work on
- The role itself, and whether it was what you expected based on the interview
- What you thought about the organisation – was there anything you learned about the type of organisation and whether you’d want to work for a company like that which you can apply in your future job search?
Reframing the experience can also be helpful – I didn’t get this job, but I experienced the process and learned how to answer scenario-based questions. Or, I wasn’t offered this role, but going through the process helped me refine the examples I want to use at my next interview. I didn’t get the final offer, but I did get through to final two candidates out of 50 applicants. Challenging and reframing the rejection can help you adjust your mindset towards a growth mindset and propel you forwards, rather than getting stuck in the emotion.
Gather your energy and positivity, and start applying for the next role!
You know what they say about getting back on the horse when you fall off? It’s the same with securing a new job. You have to get back out there and start applying again.
Job searching takes grit and determination, as I wrote here. It’s time consuming and needs emotional investment. That’s why the short break to process your emotions and get back to a positive state of mind is helpful. But if your reasons for wanting a new role haven’t changed, you need to take action to secure a new job.
Most of the time the rejection is not personal, it may just be that someone pipped you at the final post so try not to take it too personally, or let it knock your confidence and self-belief. Revisit your success diary and remind yourself of your achievements and what you have to offer.
Was it really your dream job?
I’ve worked with lots of people who thought they’d missed out on their dream job, only to find that the one they ended up in is even better! I supported a client, Jon, with his job search after redundancy and asked him about how he felt about missing out on roles.
“In a way I was relieved when I didn’t get the job I thought was my perfect one. I’d been applying for national first line manager roles, but I ended up in a regional role with a better salary and less travel – it’s a no-brainer really!
“I was rejected five times at interview stage and countless times my application didn’t get past the first sift, but I still wanted a new role.
“You learn a little from each rejection and improve your interview technique each time. If there’s a more suitable candidate who got the role, there’s nothing you could have done!
“You have to try not to take the rejection personally. The next job you get will be your dream job because you’ve put your heart and soul into getting it.”
I had another client who didn’t get their job they really wanted the first time they applied, but they used the learning to focus on improving and applied again two years later, successfully landing the role. If you ask around your friends and contacts, many will have a story of the perfect role they didn’t get, only to realise it wasn’t as perfect as the one they did.
So what happens when you don’t land your perfect job – you get back on that horse, of course, and your dream job will become a reality eventually.
If you need help in your search for your next dream role, drop me an email to arrange a free introductory chat.
